Regret.

It’s like a friend that turns out to be a backstabbing cannibal… he eats you. and then…he kills you. (wrap your mind around that).

It’s normal to befriend regret.
Everyone does. Right?

I wish I didn’t write that

Is there a benefit to regret?
Maybe we can learn from the mistakes we regret…

But regret itself?

…

Let’s define it.

Regret: Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past because the consequences of the decision were unfavorable. Regret is related to a perceived opportunity.

Initial regret is not bad. It’s part of learning from mistakes.

Dwelling on regret… is NG. (Not good)*

The consistent revisiting of choices, conversations, and lack of action made in the past. Wishing you had a time machine to go back and change things.

Let’s chat about this.

*This is a reference to something my mother said growing up…thanks mom! <3

How Do We Handle Regret?

Regret is a killer.

In my life, it takes time and energy, about things that can’t be changed.

IT’S literally USELESS.

But.
How can you shake it?

Below are two ways…I hope you find value in them.

Way 1.

This leans into prudence. (What a blessing to have prudence in your life.)

Before I give “Way 1” let’s set a couple of things straight.

The Decision Dichotomy.

There is a dichotomy in decisions.

Too soon? Or too late?

The best decision is rarely the quickest one.

And…

When you find the best decision you’ve already passed the best time to execute it.

Well, what the heck Michael… Are you saying I should never make decisions because they won’t be perfect?
- no

Well, great scott Michael… Are you saying I should never stop to find the best option because it’s too late by that point?
- no

…Michael, tell me what you want me to do…
- I’m trying.

Plans

It’s wise to plan.

Proverbs 21:5 - The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.

Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless but planning is indispensable.”

If this is true.

You should be planning and thinking.

Just…Don’t hold so tight to a plan that you lose sight of everything else.

Way 1. (for real this time)

Accept this.

A sober reality check.

The decision you make… will always be flawed.

…😳😳…

Yes.

To ruthlessly murder regret you need to accept defeat this reality.

You can never make the best decision at the perfect time.

Are there great and good decisions? YES!
When you make mistakes remember that the great decisions you made could have been better.
And the bad decision you made could have been worse.

You. Will. Not. Make. A. “Perfect”. Decision.

Be wise.

Be diligent.

Be prudent.

But don’t be a white-knuckling-control-freak-legalist that thinks your actions could or should be perfect. They won’t be. Ever.

Plan and act.

And rest knowing even the best decisions…aren’t truly the “best”.

Way 2.

This one is the real killer of regret.

It involves a reality check too.

It involves submission.

And death.

• Death of regret.

• Death of pride.

• Death of self.

Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.

Are you ready for Way 2?

Pray and Ask

Pray and ask to believe the Lord is sovereign.

If the Lord truly wanted you to…you would have completed _____ by now.

Or you would have been doing ______ for the last 6 years.

Or this or that or blah blah blah.

We focus so much on what we want and what we should do…

And not on things of eternal significance.

Job 1:21 - And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

Matthew 6:33 - But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

The “all these things” is talking about your daily needs. Food. Clothing. Shelter.

The goal of this life isn’t Stuff and Things.

It’s faithfulness to the Lord.

Rest

Even If you accept Way 1.

You can’t ruthlessly murder regret in your life until…

You rest knowing that the Lord establishes your steps.

Proverbs 16:9 - The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.

Summary

The two ways to kill regret in your life.

Way 1.

• Accept that your decision will always be flawed.

• The “perfect decision” is unattainable.
  

Way 2.

• Accept that the Lord is sovereign.

• You won’t kill regret until you rest in his plan.

Closing

I hope these words were challenging and encouraging.

Please respond to this email if you have any ideas or topics you want me to cover. Or if you have any follow-up questions about this issue!

Thanks!

Michael D. Kamm
The Reformed Entrepreneur